The biggest twin problem yet.

As you all remember, about four months ago I had a giant meltdown when I didn't get any sleep for a couple of days. Anyone would. Not sleeping for that long is not healthy.

Husband and I were not on the same page about how to sleep train the twins. He was in favor of a more gentle mode of training, rocking them to sleep at night and then trying to put them down without waking them. I was in favor of balls to the wall, aggressive, letting them scream it out until they got used to it and fell asleep kind of training.

In an earlier post, you've figured out that I believe marriage is all about compromise. So, through my tears, I managed to explain to him that I was willing to do a modified kind of sleep training as long as he could give some from his end too. So I found a book, by a pediatrician, explaining that it was ok to let babies cry it out.

Long story short, we compromised and it worked. Nothing since has been as difficult. I've been blessed with easy babies.

Also as you all know, the babies turned 1 about a month ago. They are starting to walk. They crawl really fast. They're talking right on schedule; they both have lots of words. They're sleeping 12-13 hours a night. They love to snuggle with us. They understand the word no and are incredibly well-behaved 1-year-olds.

The only problem, the only hang-up, is that we are struggling through the eating part of things.

When they got out of the hospital, they ate like champs. Actually, as soon as they got out of my belly they ate like champs. They gave them two ounces of formula right there in the OR to make sure they ate well. And boy did they ever. They both sucked it down in seconds.

At their one-week checkup, the doctor said they were't gaining weight fast enough, so she had us put them on Gerber Good Start. They ate it like it was the best thing they'd ever tasted and both shot up in weight really quickly. The only problem is by about three weeks, they were seeming hungrier and hungrier.

Most docs won't advise solid foods until six months, based on the American Pediatric Ass.'s guidelines, but all three of my babies had to start rice cereal before they were a month old. We put it directly in the bottle.

With the twins, by three months, they had to have baby food. We tried with a spoon at first, and they just weren't coordinated enough to eat it, so we put it in their bottles with their formula. At first, we only did it with the morning bottle and the night bottle, but as they got older, they needed it constantly. By four and a half months, they were eating it in every bottle. We went on like that, adding as much as we could fit in a bottle, until they were around six or seven months old. Then we just started feeding them baby food outside of the bottles and increased their bottles to eight ounces with rice cereal.

In short, they've always eaten a lot, so when we tried to put them on table food and they started to stall out, it frustrated me. For the last couple of months, we've been fighting to get them to eat. Harry is starting to come around and eat pretty much everything we give him. Hank is more picky. He cries and turns his head and screams.

When he does this, it affects Harry. Harry gets upset, and it keeps Harry from eating. WIth one baby, you can negotiate and find things for one baby to eat. With two, by yourself, you have to make sure they're both in a good mood and eating, or one affects the other.

So I haven't figured this whole thing out yet. I've looked for books about this, like I found a book on getting twins to sleep. If such a book is out there, I surely can't locate it. If any of you knows of such a book, I'd owe you eternally for finding it for me!

If I figure this whole thing out, I will, of course, write about it. If any of you other moms of multiples out there knows what to do, please clue me in! This is a serious cry for help. I'm tired of seeing my babies so frustrated with their eating. And I'm tired of being frustrated about their eating. With one baby, I know it's just a phase, but with two, they just feed off each other, with their attitudes, their likes, their dislikes.

So any tips would be appreciated. And if you're not a mom of multiples, don't tell me it's just a phase and they'll get over it! Please! I'll get mad at you. And I don't like being mad at people.

Are Republicans and Democrats like Husband and Wife?

Early in my current marriage, I remember late nights - we're talking 2 or 3 a.m. - fighting with my husband. We had serious things to fight about, as most married couples do in the beginning.

I won't go into the problems, but they had to be resolved in order to make our relationship work. Our relationship was something we were working on together, to make stable, to make emotionally profitable and to sustain the people within it.

So, obviously, this is an analogy. My marriage is only five years old. The United States government is 235 years old, and the people we have put in charge of making it work are not making it work.

They've had 235 years to bicker, to argue and to get over it, but instead of doing what my husband and I did and working through our problems, they continue to fight.

They continue to fight to the detriment of the people who depend on them. And they don't care. This blows my mind. I figure, as long as they're still getting paid, they don't care. They have no stake in this. Money and pride seem to be the main motivators.

I remember those late nights fighting with my husband. I was RIGHT. And I was going to stay right no matter what the cost. I would be tired to parent effectively in the morning. My head would hurt from the lack of sleep. My throat would hurt from the screaming. My eyes would hurt from the crying. But none of that mattered as long as I was right.

Our country will suffer. People will lose jobs. But gosh darn it as long as the Republicans win, or the Democrats win, it'll all be alright.

In Texas, our educational system is on the verge of collapse. Teachers, who used to have the most job security of all, are wondering how they'll feed their families when they lose their jobs and take pay cuts. Parents of special needs children - I am one, so I know - are having a hard time figuring out how the schools will continue to take care of their children. Parents should be worried enough, seeing the product that is coming out of Texas schools right now, but now they have to worry even more when almost everything is taken from their children.

When this is on the verge of happening in Texas, though, you look at the political agenda right now and have to wonder what the heck people are thinking. They're actually fighting about abortion. They're doing this at the national level, too.

Why?

In my mind, this is like my husband's and my fights early in our marriage. We had big issues on the table, and we had small issues on the table, but all of them were important when we just had to be right.

Is abortion as important as saving our government right now? No, not to me it's not. And I'm guessing to the many federal employees who will lose out on a paycheck starting tomorrow it's not as important either.

We're so far in debt it's ridiculous. My husband and I faced a similar problem recently. My company has been on a salary freeze for four years, and we're now looking at at least two more. The hubs is facing budget cuts next year. And because we didn't expect this, we lived beyond our means for a while, and it caught up with us.

The federal government is in the same predicament. What did we do? Because we're five years in with more experience than when we first got married, we took the small stuff off the list and tackled the big problem. We figured out a way to fix things. We compromised. We each gave a little, as we weren't in agreement on how to fix it. We came to a COMPROMISE.

Has the government done this? No. And because of that, we're looking at a possible shutdown tomorrow.

Maybe that's a good thing. If they're shut down, they can't spend any money, right... ?

My first ever real vacation.

I've had a full-time job with benefits for four years now. This is something in my previous life (the one where I never thought I'd make it through college!) I never thought I'd have.

Year one - in 2008 - I didn't get vacation time. I had to make it through one year of employment before I could get paid vacation time.

Year two - in 2009 - I got part of the regular 10 days because I wasn't employed through the whole year of 2008. That year, however, I spent those vacation days on a cot in the PICU with Mitchell as he worked his way through the initial stages of his diagnosis of Type I diabetes. It was rough. It was not a vacation. I was newly pregnant and suffering from morning sickness, all the while camping out in a very uncomfortable room while my baby was hooked up to machines and unconscious most of the time. I also had to puke in a tiny, tiny bathroom that I wasn't even supposed to be using. They made an exception and turned their heads since I was in my first trimester. Coincidentally, I didn't yet know I was having twins. This was about two weeks before I discovered that little fact.

Year three - in 2010 - I had to use my full 10 days of vacation before I could start my disability pay for maternity leave. So I spent it hugely pregnant in bed, alone, in pain and suffering. Bed rest sounds great, but when you've got two huge babies incubating in your guts, it's not too pleasant.

Enter year four. I am pleased to announce that my kids are healthy, and I'm healthy. I knew this year I would get to spend my vacation however I wanted.

I figured I'd take one week in the spring and one in the fall and take off time from both jobs and just enjoy being home with no responsibilities. There was one thing I had to take care of this week, which is why I decided to take off, but it's been taken care of. So the rest of the time was devoted to me. I thought.

Monday, we had a slight panic over money. Everything turned out okay. It ended up being something that happened on the bank's end, but I had to spend the whole day trying to figure out how to handle it. It stunk.

Tuesday was a little better, but I was still trying to shuffle funds and figure out how to get back on track with the bank's mistake. Then I spent all day designing a budget to help us stay on track. The spreadsheet was awesome, if I might say so myself. Formulas and all. A thing of beauty. Yesterday I slept on and off until noon because I woke up with 102 fever. I was sweating through everything. I made it to the drug store to get NyQuil and load up on Red Box movies, but that was about it. Today, I'm feeling a little better and am hoping to salvage the last two days of vacation.

Though it sounds bogus, this is the best vacation I've ever had. I'm catching up on watching movies, I'm napping, I'm reading, I'm relaxing and I've even gotten all of our laundry done. The best part is not having to worry about work at all. And knowing I have another week to try to do this better in the fall. Vacationing is an art form, and I'm learning how to do it well.

Some day my vacations will be spent at the beach, or on a cruise ship. But for now, I'm enjoying getting this whole relaxing thing right. I was able to enjoy some great snuggles before starting my next to last vacation day this morning.

Me and my mini me

The conclusion of the great e-reader decision.

So a few weeks ago, those of you who were Facebook friends were treated to my innermost thoughts, concerns and genuine grief about a) whether I was ok with using an e-reader at all and b) if I decided to get one which way to go.

I took in numerous pieces of advice.

My friend Katie said she had a Nook and loved how it looked more like a real page. For this reason, she wouldn't get the color one. She wanted it to look as close to a real book as possible. Her husband, Scott, though, uses an iPad for reading, which, she said, she could never do.

Another friend, Carla, said she had a thing about cracking the spine of a new hardback. She only ever buys hardbacks.

Emma said I would miss the smell of a new book.

My mom never weighed in at all, but I've commiserated with her in the past about the dismal future of "real books" because of those stupid e-readers.

What changed my mind -- I was steadfastly against this for so very long -- was the price of a new release e-book. Above anything else, I tend to be very cheap. I only buy new clothes on sale. I only buy generic meds. I buy store brand of everything possible. And, as much as I love reading series, I wait to purchase new releases in my favorite series until they're no longer new releases and I can get them for fifty cents on Amazon.

This causes me great distress. I read a lot. I average anywhere from three to five books a week. So I love Half Price Books and end up reading stuff I don't always want to read because I can get it on the cheap.

I FOUND the price of new e-books because I was looking for something on the Barnes and Noble website and saw the hardback price, the paperback price AND the e-book price. On average, a new release in hardback costs $25 to $30. Maybe as low as $17.99 at Wal Mart if you get lucky. New releases at B&N, for e-books? $12.99!

This, of course, intrigued me, so I looked up e-readers. I immediately discounted most of them, as the reviews included complainst such as, "It doesn't work really well when you're trying to get on Facebook." Stupid. If it's an e-reader, what the heck is anyone doing trying to get on Facebook?

Too much bidness for reading books.

So that left me with a couple of options. I then immediately discounted anything that had a 3G carrier activation required. Not needed. There's WiFi almost anywhere, and you can read books on it without having to connect to the Internet. Also, where would I ever be that I need to read without an Internet connection? For me, nowhere. And if I am, I have the app on my phone.

This is really handy, and I tried it out on my phone before I invested in the actual e-reader. It's a free app.

Knocking that extra cost out brought me down to $250 for the Nook Color, $150 for the black and white Nook and $140 for the Kindle. Then there were some off-brand verisons I was able to find on sale for MUCH cheaper. A couple even came recommended by friends I trust.

The first one to go was the Kindle. The new release e-books were $14.99 compared to B&N's $12.99 price. So if I was going to choose one of the name brands, so to speak, it would be the Nook.

I started digging into the cheaper ones and tested a couple of them out. 

iRex e-reader

Pandigital Novel

Sony e-reader

In the end, the Nook -- black and white because of Katie's suggestion -- won me over. It looked the most like a real page.

So I bought it. I was pretty sure this was going to save me money, and time, when shopping for books. All it has done in reality is allow me to read more books. That being said, I love it. I hear there's a way to rent library books on these things, so I'm going to see if I can make that work. It may not work with the Nook, but if it works with another e-reader, I may invest in one just for that, too.

Also, I'm in the process of cleaning out all the actual books I don't want to keep. There aren't many, as I routinely take boxes to sell to HPB. So this will save us space, as well.

Of course, I'm not even going near this for my childrens' books. They will continue to read real books as long as I have a say in it. Later on in life, when they are established readers and it's become a part of their lives, they can make that decision.

What a good friend is

Since I've added two to my brood in the last year, I was thinking today about what it means to be my friend these days. With two babies, you start to cut people out of your life. Not because you want to, but usually for lack of time in the day.

Everyone goes through this as a parent. You start to have less time in your life after you have children. You have less in common with the people who aren't parents who are your friends. This doesn't mean necessarily that you "dump" them (it's impossible to dump friends anymore because of Facebook), but you become more selective about who you hang around. The same things aren't important anymore.

I started thinking about what it means to be my friend these days. If you're lucky enough - ha! - you possess qualities that those who are no longer in my life all the time don't. This is what it means to be my friend:

• It shouldn't be difficult. I shouldn't have to worry about spending time with you. I shouldn't have to worry about offending you or hurting your feelings. I should be able to count on you at least some of the time. A person you consider your friend should make your life easier, not harder. And that should happen very naturally and without effort. Basic chemistry.
• We should have a lot of interests in common. I like to read, so my friends usually do as well, for example. This doesn't mean if you don't like to read you aren't my friend. It just means that many of my friends enjoy the same things I do, like drinking beer.
• You probably enjoy drinking beer.
• You probably have kids. Or at least are in a situation where kids are around you a lot, like if you're an aunt or an uncle or spend time with others' kids frequently.
• You can't be jealous of anything about my life and I can't be jealous of anything about your life. At least not seriously. I jokingly say I'm jealous of my friends who have maids, but... Haha. For instance, you can't be jealous I have kids and then go get yourself pregnant by some random person because you want kids so bad. That kind of thing. That's too Single White Female for me.
• You have to be able to spend time around me with my kids around. In turn, I have to be able to spend time with you with your kids around (if you have them). I love my friends' kids and love it that they love mine.
• You can't try to make me do things I don't want to do. I don't like to go out to bars very often anymore. I used to like to do that. I don't like it when some friends still pressure me to go out all the time. So I generally stop talking to them if they do things like that.
• When you're my friend, I genuinely want to do things for you to help you out from time to time. I would hope you would feel the same way if you are mine. And my friends have proven time and time again that this is the case.

In short, a friendship is a relationship. There has to be chemistry - a genuine LIKE for the other person - there. There has to be affection and communication. I know a lot of married couples who don't even seem like they're friends, and I wonder why people have "friends" who don't feel these things that I'm talking about. There is only a handful of people who I count as friends, who are in my life on a steady continuous basis, and I prefer it that way. And I love them.

The reason I started thinking about this is because one of my friends talked to me yesterday about how she had to let someone in her life go because the things I listed above just weren't there anymore due to some of the girl's actions. It's sad, but it's reality.

Then I started thinking about Facebook. Most everyone I know is on Facebook and has hundreds of friends. A real friend is so different from a Facebook friend, and I wonder if the people of the next generation can make that distinction since they're growing up with this stuff around and never knew life without it.

Me and my best friend!

I hope for their sake, they can tell the difference. I hope for my boys' sakes. I hope for my friends' kids' sakes.

A little not-so-reality fun

So, if you know me, you know one of my favorite shows is Teen Mom. I'm so not ashamed at all by this. I find it hugely entertaining.

So sometimes between episodes (yes, between episodes, you read correctly) I like to google these people and see what crazy antics they have gotten themselves into during "real time".

Then I landed on solid gold.

I'm bringing blogging back!

I don't understand the title, either. I don't really think blogging went anywhere. But this guy chronicles all the eipsodes of Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant (and other reality shows about sluts, I mean, really fun girls, like American Idol and Real Housewives of Whatever) in an incredibly humorous way.

So, in short, if you are a fan of one of these shows and need some good readin', go here.

How much can I learn in one year?

It's hard to believe, but this time last year I was lying in the very same bed I'm in now (though I was typing on an older and busted laptop) saying over and over again to my belly, "I love you both, but please get the hell out."

My c-section had already been scheduled for March 15. I knew I was only a couple of weeks away, but I was miserable. I know every pregnant lady is miserable toward the end, but keep in mind my actual due date was APRIL 10. Twins come much earlier. Triplets even earlier. Quadruplets, well, you get the idea. The more you have in your litter, the harder it is to keep 'em in there the whole time.

Of course, I couldn't move. I could barely get up by myself. I knew the twins were measuring in, at 7 weeks before due date, at almost seven pounds. That's a lot for twins, especially for twins that early. Most twins that age measure in at around 4 pounds. Maybe 5.

I ALMOST resorted to wearing Depends. TMI? I know.

Anyway, in readying for my babies' first birthday party, I was thinking back on all the terrifying, crazy but mostly good events that happened during this pregnancy and first year.

• One of the first things that always comes to mind is a friendship I was able to make stronger during this time. I was down A LOT on bed rest, and when New Year's rolled around, I got a text from my friend Emma confirming that she was also pregnant. We had always been friends, but through this shared experience we were able to become closer and, I think, are much better friends. I honestly wouldn't know how to get through some days without texting her.
• When I first heard the news, I was terrified. But then I saw an episode of 16 and Pregnant where a teenager had twins, and I was totally, like, I can do this. I'm not kidding. That girl handled it like a pro.
• Then I started to look for the awesome things about having multiples.
• You get to play the "I'm pregnant with multiples" card for so much. I ain't lyin'. After I looked 6 months pregnant at only 3 months, people really were willing to do pretty much anything for me.
• I got to ride the electric cart at Wal Mart. No joke! I really couldn't walk farther than from the car to the cart.
• There was virtually no weight gain because I had two babies sucking it out of me. After giving birth, I was lighter than when I started.
• I got the bed to myself the last two months. I was too huge for there to be room for both of us.
• It was the one time in my life I wasn't concerned about being fat anywhere. I actually got a T-shirt that said, "I'm not fat. I'm pregnant with twins!"
• I got away with not wearing pants because I couldn't put them on. This prohibited me from leaving the house, which was awesome.
• I got to see my doctor all the time. And my doctor was so much fun! If you're in San Antonio and pregnant, go see Dr. Bryan Cox. He made me forget I was there because I was pregnant most of the time. He just treated me like we were having a beer and then gave me Darvocet to go home with.
• That's another thing about being pregnant with multiples. The pain is unbelievable. But they give you fun drugs to make up for it. And then they tell you it's ok because the stress of the pain will hurt your babies way more than the drugs ever would.
• Also, I got TONS of ultrasound pics. They did them in the same room where I had my checkups.
• I learned that you pretty much know which baby is which throughout the entire pregnancy. Fun little multiples fact.

So those are pretty much the pre-delivery fun facts. After you have the babies, it's a whole other story. Here's what I've learned in the past year.

• Two babies are sometimes easier than one. Sometimes. Mostly no.
• When they come out of the womb and you are not aware if you're having identical twins or fraternal twins, even in your doped-up haze, you will be immediately grateful if you got what you wanted out of that deal.
• The drugs are damned good. You really do get to pick which way you want to have your babies if you have more than one. I opted for a c-section, and I've never been happier with a choice in my life. It was a breeze for me. Some women don't have that experience, but I thought it way easier than the way I got Mitchell out!
• Having "preemies" sucks. My babies were 7 lbs. each, but they were technically preemies since they were born at 35 weeks. They sent Harry to the NICU because he grunted. He still grunts.
• Daytime commercials are all for places like "Career Point College". Thanks, Career Point! And daytime TV sucks so bad. Even the cable channels. Most of the time, I enjoyed sitting with the babies as they slept without the TV on. It's amazing what maternal bliss can sometimes do.
• Coupled with maternal bliss, you also get to deal with maternal irritation times 2. Or more. After I have a baby, I get this feeling of extreme irritation when anyone tries to touch me. That increased not by 2 but by about 2 million.
• The sleep deprivation is so much worse than with one baby. Even when you start out intending to get them on a schedule, it takes time to establish it. We didn't get the babies sleeping through the night for real until they were roughly 9 months old.
• Sleep training. Of some kind. You have to have a plan. When you have more than one baby, that means more than one person has to get up in the night. That means you can't hand the baby off to your spouse and sleep through the night. It's too much for one person to do alone.
• The attachment to two babies is so very strong. And the struggle to give them equal time is amazingly difficult. I have struggled with feeling more attached to Harry because he looks so much like me. It's an incredible bond to look at your child and see your own face. But then I look at Hank, and he has this smile that lights up his whole face. It's hard, but you come to the same place in the end.
• You HAVE to accept others' generosity. Whether it's a box of diapers (Thanks, Melissa!), babysitting help (Thanks, Shawna!) or female time away from the kids (Thanks, Lisa!), you have to depend on other people to keep you sane and operating at full force.
• Every baby really is different. I never understood this until I had two at the same time. They crawled at different times, they talked at different times, they held their own bottles at different times. It'll be that way throughout their lives, and I just hope I make them realize I love them enough that it doesn't matter who "wins".
• You can plan your whole life to have two kids and somehow magically end up with three.
• No, I wasn't on fertility treatments! I didn't do IVF! We weren't infertile! So sick of people asking me that.















• I'm sorry to anyone I ever asked in the grocery store, "Are they twins?" when I knew they were.

It's so hard to believe we're coming up on a year. We ordered the stuff for their birthday party last night. I'm seriously amazed I've been able to pull this off with them keeping all their body parts intact. And damn, they're cute!