Getting to know my babies.

I've been a mother for 9 years, and during that entire time, I've been a working mother. I took care of my kids, but there was never the amount of closeness I wanted because of how many hours I worked. When Mitchell was small, I worked three jobs. I rarely saw him. As he got older, I worked an average of 50-60 hours a week and just always have. It's what I'm used to.

Last fall, I was working 80 hours a week. Two full-time jobs. I missed so much of the twins' first few months. It was terribly sad. I missed Mitchell's babyhood. I didn't want to miss out on my last kids' babyhood.

So, finally, a few months ago, we made the decision for me to stay home. I've expressed apprehension about this. I'm not the kind of person who does well without someone telling me what to do every second of every day. Partially because I've been working since I was 15. That's a long time for someone my age. I'm almost 30, so that's almost 15 years in the workforce. I was terrified to leave my job.

But I did because... well, for many reasons. My health has been failing, and I wasn't able to make it into the office enough. I wasn't making enough money. We'd been on a salary freeze for four years, and we knew we were in for at least two more. And my salary was so pitiful that it was costing us money for me to work. Not only that, but I was having to work a second job to be able to afford to work my first job. Not cool.

Not only was I never seeing my babies, but I wasn't seeing Mitchell, either. So I figured I'd quit and just work for myself. It's been hard easing into a new routine, and setting up a new routine, but I'm so thankful I've done this. I'm getting to see all their little milestones. Like today, I swear, Harry kept saying "Hey now!" He's saying phrases. He said, "Hi, Mama!" the other day. It's so cute. They're both so cute. I can't get enough of hugging them and squeezing them and playing with them. My only regret is that I ever went back to work in the first place.

I'm getting to spend way more time with Mitch, too. Quality time. We have conversations and snuggle time and it's all so wonderful.

I think it's gonna work out.